Well Upal..
i don knw whether the concept is old or modern…
but i definitly agree to Madhur…the proposition really seems to be tempting…
and the advantages tht he has enumerated are a reason enuf to try it…but i wonder who girl is going to help me in it…

All of you are looking at one side of the coin. Its nothing tempting for men, neither an workable solution any gender. There is a thing called culture, which is very much important in creating a good society.

Relation ship is a different thing and marriage is different. You can have a relation anytime, will continue only if you like it or your values allows. One should not take it granted that a good relation can gives you a life partner, as it involves many other aspects of life.

But Marraige is a commitment. It gives you a family. There may be some misunderstanding, but couple are commited to live together. It has some moral value which we pass on to our children.

What happen you become old? You will be missing your true companion at a stage when you need them most. This true husband and wife need each others support badly when they become older. They learn the value of there partner only then.

Having children is another aspect, it all depends upon the couple’s mutual understanding, when and how many is required.

Live in relationship is an old practice in west, now they want a change and advocating Indian Marraige system too. They are bound to follow the practice, because they dont have any option. There parents pass on to them a specific culture and values and they have to live with it.

Life has many beautiful things where you can enjoy it fully. Every one has equal right to lead his/her life. Important is, what we store for our future generation.

Vrinda, I do agree that it was a time when a child was not accepted in the society if the child was born from an unwed mother. But time has changed. Now-a-days hardly it matters whether the mother is unwed or married. It has been seen that 98% of “Live in Relationship” happens in metropolitan cities. So keeping this in mind the metropolitan culture hardly matters now-a-days. All it matters is money. The baby will definitely call his/her parents as Mom & Dad.

In Mumbai, Delhi, Bangalore, many instances are there. We can take Sushmita Sen (Miss Universe 19960) as an example, who is an unwed mother. Maybe she has adopted the child but still she is a mother. I believe her daughter is still proud of her mom.

Regarding the culture & tradition, it depends upon what culture the child is getting from his/her mother. Napoleon once said to the citizens of France “If you can give me a good mother, I promise to give you a cultured Nation”. So marriage is a bondage no doubt, but the expectation becomes a main issue in it. When the expectations are not met then it becomes an issue and then the planning of divorce starts. I agree with what Madhur said “Live in relationship” is better than divorce. The child is more mentally tortured when his/her parents parts. “Live in relationship” is better than being married and getting divorced or getting involved in a post marital affairs. Atleast the issue of breaking trust doesn’t come into picture.

Regarding loneliness, when a person grows old he searches for a friend with whom the person can share some time, with whom the person can share the feelings, emotions, moments and past experiences. For that any trustworthy friend is suitable not necessarily the spouse. I know many people who are widow or a widower but still are living happily. When we have come alone we’ll go alone for that I believe committed relationship may matter but not the only thing that matters.

Dear Mr. Upal and others

As I stated before “there is a difference in relationship and a marriage” Let me elaborate a bit further.

Relationship: We made ourselves choosing with whom we need to have friendship or not.

Marriage: Are made in heaven and performed on earth.

Relationship: Become sour as it grows. Simple reason both the partners adopt casual approach.

Marriage: Become more sweet as it grows. Reason partners care for each other, as they start understanding there feelings.

Relationship: it is not a binding on any one.

Marriage: a commitment towards your partner.

Relationship: lasts only when you need it.

Marriage: are made for ever..

What Napoleon says may be good for France and its people, When we talk about India, it has some cultural values and that is greater than others.

U have said marriage is a bondage?? I strongly oppose this statement This is only happens when either of partners fails to perform there duties and deviate from there commitments. If you are true to your partner, He or she will be true to you too.

Uday

It hardly matters now a days, wheather you are a male or a female, all have equal responsibilities. Do you think a man(if he is truly a man) can leave his new born baby, when a relation is over?

Mother just bear the labor pain, A father is eqally concern about his child. He is even more possesive than women over its child.

Upal again:

Lastly your comments about loneliness. My dear friend, A friend is a friend and a wife is a wife. Its very hard to get a true friend as well as good wife too. You cant share your loneliness to your friends in older days, simply not.

In older years, you need love and affection. Couple care for each other, help them to survive. They have equal concern for each other as they have spent so many years together.

Above all they live in there past, remembering there happy days as well as days when they struggled together. A friend or a relative cannot replace a wife.

Live-in relationship, well it does sound tempting and one where no commitment is required.

We have had diverse views on the same, but how many of those who are for the motion would really be courageous enough to be involved in one. Indian men may be for the idea but the ones, who would really, in practicality, go in for a live-in are very few or none. The simple reason being that how much ever they think the idea is tempting, inviting, free from accountability, hassle free…but all said and done men are not at all courageous enough to virtually go in for one.

Indians may seem very open, very broad-minded, and very modern but as a matter of fact they are governed by the rules, which have been laid by the society, and they do not have any inclination of moving away from the rules in majority of the cases.

If at all two persons culminate into a live-in, it is very wrong to say that women are weaker, though they seem to be more sensitive and emotional than their counterparts but if a woman plans and decides to carry out a certain thing then she hardly ever retreats. It is always men who back out of any relationship out of their fear of the society and their families. As far as women are considered they are in the long run more courageous than the men, they have got more enduring power than men.

India has always been known for its cultural and aesthetic sense. We have our own individuality and replicating some concept of the west would not at all be a true Indians duty. Marriage surely is a life-long commitment and when we can adjust to numerous numbers of things for our sustenance, why can’t we adjust with our heritage. Live-in is the weapon of all the people who fear commitments. We have our culture, which we have to preserve and accepting a hollow western concept would take us nowhere.